Help

Once you consent, you’re enrolled in a 90-day program. Nothing is scheduled or timed: you move to the next day the moment you mark the current one complete, whether that’s the same day you started or a week later. There’s no streak and no calendar lock.

Each day has a short lesson, a practice, and an action you can take at three levels: easier, standard, or stretch, whichever fits how you’re feeling. Before you try it, you write down what you predict will happen; afterward, you reflect on what actually did. Mark the day complete when you’re ready, and the next one is waiting.

Separate from the daily program, this is a list of steps you write yourself, ranked from easiest to hardest by you; nobody else’s idea of brave gets forced onto it. A step might be messaging someone first, suggesting a specific day and place for a date, or saying what you actually want out loud. Start a step when you’re ready and mark it done, or use “make it smaller” if it turns out to be too big: that retires the step and creates an easier one in its place.

Your own “try this and see” tests, bigger than a single day’s action. Write what you predict will happen, try it, then log what actually happened and what you learned. The gap between what you predicted and what happened can reveal useful patterns.

A private tracker for people you’re dating or getting to know, by alias only; never a real name or a contact from your phone, and never connected to your matches. Track the stage (new, growing, established, dormant), whether they’re still responding (active, no response, they said no, blocked, or a safety concern), and your own interest (interested, open, or not interested). If contact is ever marked closed, this program will never suggest reaching back out.

Four documents you write yourself over the course of the program, in plain text, at your own pace: a relationship compass (what you’re actually looking for, introduced Day 1), a boundary map (the lines you don’t want crossed, introduced Day 7 and private to you), a first-date safety plan (where, who you’ll tell, your exit plan, introduced Day 15 and private to you), and a dating rhythm plan (how much dating energy actually fits your life, introduced Day 21). Each saves independently, so editing one never affects the others.

A text-only AI chat for talking things through when you want a sounding board. It only talks; it never adds a ladder step, logs an experiment, or takes any action on your behalf.

From Settings, at any time, no penalty and no explanation needed. Pausing keeps everything you’ve already entered and stops there until you resume; leaving closes the program the same way.

From Settings, you can download a copy of everything you’ve entered in Magnetism, including your My Profile documents, or permanently delete it, whenever you want, including after you’ve left the program.

Some daily lessons include a small bracketed number, like [1] or [12]: that’s a citation to the research or public-health guidance behind that piece of content. Here’s what each one is:

1. Eastwick, P. W., Finkel, E. J., Eagly, A. H., and Johnson, S. E. “When and Why Do Ideal Partner Preferences Affect the Process of Initiating and Maintaining Romantic Relationships?” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 2011. pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/21707198
2. Leigh, E., and Clark, D. M. “Understanding Social Anxiety Disorder in Adolescents and Improving Treatment Outcomes: Applying the Cognitive Model of Clark and Wells.” Clinical Child and Family Psychology Review, 2018. pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC6447508
3. Wells, A., Clark, D. M., Salkovskis, P., Ludgate, J., Hackmann, A., and Gelder, M. “Social Phobia: The Role of In-Situation Safety Behaviors in Maintaining Anxiety and Negative Beliefs.” Behavior Therapy, 1998. doi.org/10.1016/S0005-7894(98)80037-3
4. Craske, M. G., Treanor, M., Conway, C. C., Zbozinek, T., and Vervliet, B. “Maximizing Exposure Therapy: An Inhibitory Learning Approach.” Behaviour Research and Therapy, 2014. doi.org/10.1016/j.brat.2014.04.006
5. Renner, K. A., Valentiner, D. P., and Holzman, J. B. “Focus-of-Attention Behavioral Experiment: An Examination of a Therapeutic Procedure to Reduce Social Anxiety.” Cognitive Behaviour Therapy, 2017. doi.org/10.1080/16506073.2016.1225814
6. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. “About Intimate Partner Violence.” cdc.gov/intimate-partner-violence/about
7. Baxter, A., Maxwell, J. A., Bales, K. L., Finkel, E. J., Impett, E. A., and Eastwick, P. W. “Initial Impressions of Compatibility and Mate Value Predict Later Dating and Romantic Interest.” PNAS, 2022. pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/36322750
8. Boothby, E. J., Cooney, G., Sandstrom, G. M., and Clark, M. S. “The Liking Gap in Conversations: Do People Like Us More Than We Think?” Psychological Science, 2018. doi.org/10.1177/0956797618783714
9. Collins, N. L., and Miller, L. C. “Self-Disclosure and Liking: A Meta-Analytic Review.” Psychological Bulletin, 1994. pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/7809308
10. Laurenceau, J. P., Barrett, L. F., and Pietromonaco, P. R. “Intimacy as an Interpersonal Process: The Importance of Self-Disclosure, Partner Disclosure, and Perceived Partner Responsiveness in Interpersonal Exchanges.” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 1998. doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.74.5.1238
11. Choi, M., and Toma, C. L. “An Experiment on the Effects of Self-Disclosure on Perceived Partner Responsiveness and Intimacy in Zero-Acquaintance Relationships.” Communication Studies, 2022. doi.org/10.1080/10510974.2022.2084429
12. Federal Trade Commission. “What To Know About Romance Scams.” consumer.ftc.gov/articles/what-know-about-romance-scams
13. RAINN. “Get the Facts About Sexual Violence: What Does Consent Look Like?” rainn.org/get-informed/get-the-facts-about-sexual-violence
14. Sbarra, D. A., Smith, H. L., and Mehl, M. R. “When Leaving Your Ex, Love Yourself: Observational Ratings of Self-Compassion Predict the Course of Emotional Recovery Following Marital Separation.” Psychological Science, 2012. doi.org/10.1177/0956797611429466
15. Kählke, F., Berger, T., Schulz, A., and colleagues. “Efficacy of an Unguided Internet-Based Self-Help Intervention for Social Anxiety Disorder in University Students: A Randomized Controlled Trial.” International Journal of Methods in Psychiatric Research, 2019. pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC6877166
16. Powell, J., Williams, V., Atherton, H., and colleagues. “Effectiveness and Cost-Effectiveness of a Self-Guided Internet Intervention for Social Anxiety Symptoms in a General Population Sample: Randomized Controlled Trial.” Journal of Medical Internet Research, 2020. pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC6996778

A safety check-in is reachable from every screen in Magnetism, regardless of where you are in the program. In the US, that’s 988 (Suicide & Crisis Lifeline), 911, or RAINN at 800-656-HOPE (rainn.org) for sexual violence support; outside the US, the same bar shows your local emergency number automatically. Magnetism itself isn’t a crisis service.

Questions, or something not working? Email [email protected]. We read every note.