Are You Ready for a Relationship?

From our article “Are my dating standards too high? What the research actually says”: Why the list you think you want is a poor guide to who you actually fall for, and four better questions than whether your standards are too high.

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What is actually pulling you toward a relationship right now?

There is no wrong motive here. There is only an accurate one and a flattering one.

I like my life and I'd like someone to share it with.Something's missing, and I'm hoping a person fills it.Honestly, I'm still carrying the last one.I want to be dating, but I don't want anything serious yet.

How much room is there in your week for another person?

Not how much you'd make in an emergency. How much exists on an ordinary Tuesday.

Real room, and I'd protect it rather than squeeze it in.I'd clear space instantly, which is probably the tell.Varies. Some weeks I want people, some weeks I want nobody.Enough for something light. Not enough for something serious.

Think about how the last thing ended. What do you know now that you didn't then?

Something specific about yourself, not about them.

I can name my part in it without flinching.I know exactly what I do, and I keep doing it anyway.I'm still working it out. It's fairly recent.Nothing that ended was serious enough to teach me much.

If someone good showed up next month, what would you do?

The realistic answer, not the aspirational one.

Say what I'm looking for early, and mean it.Move fast and worry later about whether it fit.Want it and hold back, because I know what it costs.Enjoy it, and keep it undefined for as long as I could.

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