November Theory

From our article “What Is November Theory? The Dating Trend, Explained”: November Theory says whoever meets your family at Thanksgiving is the relationship that's actually real. A smarter plan than waiting to find out.

Which of these is actually true about you two right now?

November Theory's whole premise: this is the month that tells on a relationship, one way or the other.

The holidays are already handled — we're doing them together, no debate.It ended in the last few weeks, right as holiday plans started coming up.The “do they come home with me” question is sitting there, completely unanswered.Too new for any of this — or there's nobody specific right now.

Picture Thanksgiving. Is there an actual seat at the table for them?

Not a hypothetical seat. An actual one, with their name near it.

Yes — my family's already asking what they eat, not whether they're coming.There isn't one, because there isn't a ‘them’ anymore — that's basically what ended it.There could be. I just haven't said the word out loud, and neither has anyone at the table.Not applicable yet — we're not there, or there's no one to picture.

What actually happened the moment holiday logistics came up?

November Theory's real claim: the logistics conversation is where couples find out what they already knew.

We made the plan together, no drama, like it was obvious.One of us went quiet right when it came up, and then it was just over.It hasn't really come up — we're both dodging the actual conversation.Logistics haven't come up, because there's nothing yet to plan around.

What's true about the “meet the family” conversation, specifically?

The conversation November Theory says the holidays force, whether you're ready or not.

Already happened, already fine — it's a plan now, not a conversation anymore.It never got the chance to happen — the ‘do I have to’ question answered itself.It hasn't happened — neither of us has been the one to bring it up.Nothing to have that conversation about yet.